Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Stumble Upon

just joined stumbleupon. this is what i stumbled upon.


  1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
  2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
  3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
  4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
  5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
  6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
  7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
  8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
  9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
  10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
  11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
  12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
  13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
  14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
  15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
  16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
  17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
  18. Honk and wave to strangers.
  19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
  21. type only in lowercase.
  22. dont use any punctuation either
  23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
  24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
    "Never mind, it's gone now."
  25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
  26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
  27. Ask people what gender they are.
  28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
  29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
  30. Sing along at the opera.
  31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
  32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

Saturday, November 20, 2010

"I Make War": Circle versus Path

Intro (john piper):
I hear so many christians, murmuring about their imperfections, and their failures, and their addiction, and their shortcomings. And i see so little war! Murmur, murmur, murmur. Why am i this way? Make war!

Verse 1 (tedashii):

Bang with me
Ba-bang bang, ba-bang with me
No more playing games mane
Cause this thang can get risky
So mane if you in christ
Take up!!
Your cross quickly
Stand fearless on the frontline
Time to come with it
Do the right thing
Wake up!!
And lets get it
I ain't even in the ring
They throwing bows like riddick
Persistently attacking me
They're even in the back of me
It's either fight or lose my life and i can't take this passively
So what you think i'm bout to do
I'm bout to do what i can do
Trust the one who got me through
And fight like it was after school
Never giving up
Steady, standing on the battle field
Feet firm to the ground like i stepped on Chapel Hill
Flesh feeling frisky, sin persuades and tempts me
Satan cheers me on
Guilt followed by conviction
It's the same ol' trap
And we fall like we defenseless
Work your senses
Grow in wisdom
Stand firm and be relentless

I make war!
Cause sin never sleeps
It's got me in a trance
You can see it in my dreams
I make war!
Man i beat my flesh
To the death
Every breath
Like i beat my chest
I make war
Sun up
I make war
Sun down
I make war
Time in
I make war
Time out
I make war
Against lust
Against pride
Against me
Until i die

"But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage that I may gain Christ," Philippians 3:7-8

"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." Philippians 1:21

So one thing I have been holding back about recently is another sin God revealed to me a little while ago. I'm not sure why I did not write a blog post about it when I thought about it. I think that maybe sometimes this blog can almost sort of feed my pride slightly. I struggle with pride a lot, course not nearly as much since I became a Christian last year PTL!, but still struggle and most of the time I do not realize when something is feeding my pride. I think that sometimes it is easy for me to write about my rejoices on this blog and then everyone, if anyone, reads it get the idea that my relationship with Jesus is so good and full of blessings, joy, and rejoicing. This is such a lie because it paints a terribly wrong picture of Christianity and what my relationship with Jesus looks like. In truth, I have struggles, I fall far from glory all of the time, my heart is sinful, but why don't I share these more often? Shout out to a friend of mine who at a community meeting for CO about two or so weeks ago pointed out that in the story of the woman at the well, the woman realized how great Jesus was and how much she needed Him when Jesus showed her her sin. Most of the time in ministry we try to show people how good God is and pray that God uses our lives as an example as we rejoice in Gods provision and faithfulness. Which is totally fine and dandy but sometimes we need to show people how desperately needy we are of Christ because we immeasurably sinful. By showing them our imperfections they see a real picture of Christianity, that we were all born sinful and yet God was so good to give us the ultimate gift of grace through His Son. Therefore, as Christians we are not perfect, we cannot hope to be as long as we are on this earth, but we strive to know more of Christ as we see how sinful we are and how big Gods grace is. So all that to say that I never show you all my imperfections. And lately, God has revealed to me that I have begun to value other things above knowing more of Him. Most of the time this shows itself in the morning when I am tired and so I tell myself that I won't spend time with Him that morning but later that day. And of course I do the same thing at other times of the day or forget about it, or other pressing things work their way into the picture. So then I think 'how do i fight this?' memorize verses, pray, fight to get up in the morning and spend time with God. So I fail at fighting and then God reveals this to me again, and it seems just like a circle. This evening, several friends of mine from this summer came to visit, a bunch of girls from Western Carolina and another guy friend who just graduated from Wofford. The Lord totally provided for me today because as me, Drew and two other girls had to wait an hour at Fatz to be seated, I was able to talk to Drew about a bunch of different things and I shared this with him. He told me that it is often a struggle for him especially now that his schedule looks a lot different being out of school. But one thing he commented was that it seems like a circle, but with the circle perspective there's no logic in fighting because its never ending. There's no hope. And as I listened to the above song just a little while ago, I realized I am much like what John Piper describes in the beginning. Murmuring about my imperfections and my failures, but not wholeheartedly stepping on the front lines to fight, to make war. I am not counting everything as a loss for the sake of knowing more of Christ, instead I am counting sleep as a gain and knowing more of Christ as a loss. This is not where I want to me at all in my mentality or my walk! And so I must fight to get up in the morning and spend time with God in whatever way, I must fight to memorize scripture, to keep His word in my heart and know that His word tells me that knowing Christ is a gain and His word is perfect. I must fight my sin and if not wholeheartedly then claim wholeheartedly and pray for God to burden my heart for my own sin. At times I can feel so burdened for others, the fact that they do not know the love of the Lord, and for their own sin, but not for my own sin that inhibits my relationship with God and blinds me from seeing so much of His grace!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Holy Moly!

So bloggers, I feel like I still have a long way to go in learning what biblical womanhood looks like and how that will change for me as my role changes from a single student to in a relationship, in the work force or wife. However, one thing that I have seen laid before me is the picture of marriage as detailed in the bible. An aspect of biblical womanhood as a wife is submitting to your husband as the leader in your relationship as well as in your family. The man is the head of the household, the leader of the family, he is more mature in his relationship with Christ and therefore the wife is called to humbly trust that he has sought the will of the Lord in all matters and submit to his decisions. Funny thing is that all of this was far from my mind as I was on the internet earlier today looking for a current event article on education when I stumbled upon an article on an evangelical speaker by the name of Priscilla Shirer who speaks to women about biblical womanhood and submission to the husband. I can't believe I found something like this on the New York times website! Now, how did I find an article entitled 'Housewives of God' in the education section, you ask? I didn't. This article was on the homepage of the New York Times! How legit is that? I can't help but praise God for the many women who found this article on the front page and got to see such a cool picture of the father as the leader and the wife humbly submitting not as inferior but in honoring the role God has laid out for her in his word! The article is really lengthy and there are some quotes from others who are of different sort of "denominations", I guess you could say, who don't quite believe the same thing so it gets a little confusing in the middle as the author strays from Priscilla. But nonetheless I am thanking God for the women he reached through this article! I have a lot of questions that simply cannot be answered by this article such as, what does it look like for her to honor her husbands position as the leader in the work force as she is on stage preaching while he works the background scene? How does she balance being a stay at home mom but also having a job as an speaker for women? So bloggers, read for yourself!

P.S. if you see the note at the bottom of the very last page, this same author wrote an article on the pastor Mark Driscoll, a known fave for some of my blogger friends!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

White Christmas or White Spring?

I absolutely love everything about weddings! Probably what it really is is that I just love to look at wedding dresses. In the store, online, in a magazine, I love it! They are so gorgeous and all of them are different in sometimes just subtle ways and other times great ways. They are beautifully made masterpieces with buttons and lace and more gorgeousness! So of course wedding dresses lead me to think about other aspects of weddings, particularly my own. Disclaimer though: please do not think that I obsess over my own wedding or that I, at the young age of 20, am pining to get married. This is not the case at all! I just love weddings and thinking about what I might possibly want for my own wedding. I love the idea of an outside wedding in the spring time when the flowers are blooming, the birds are chirping, the sunshine is out and everything is so beautiful! However this poses many problems: rain, mosquitoes, the classic SC humidity, grass stains on my dress, where will I get dressed?, where outside would I have this wedding? I also think about having a wedding in December when the church is decorated for Christmas. However at the same time I don't know that I want Christmas decorations at my wedding or my anniversary so close to another holiday. The holidays gets expensive already without adding one more celebration to the month! Well, nevertheless, I have plenty of time before this matters will be pressing so for now I'll just ogle over these beautiful dresses I wish 


I love lace and open backs! I think they are so beautiful, classy and still traditional. 

However, unfortunately for me circumstances prevent me from being able to wear an open back dress. So I think that last one is also gorgeous!

lllooovvee this one!!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Get the Facts:
One in six American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape, and 10% of sexual assault victims are men. (2004 National Crime Victimization Survey)

Nearly 20% of women in New Hampshire say they have been raped.

Nearly three in four family violence victims are female – 73%. 

More than 50% of women in New Hampshire state they have experienced abuse. 

Domestic violence is the major cause of death and disability for European women aged 16 to 44 and accounts for more death and ill-health than cancer or traffic accidents. (reported by Amnesty International)

Over 90% of women in prison have experienced violence in their lives.

 An estimated 56% of the abused women in prison said that their abuse had included a rape, and another 13% reported an attempted rape.

An estimated 10 million prostitutes in India. Around 160,000 Nepalese women are held in India's brothels.
 At least 650,000 prostitutes in Indonesia; 30% are children.

An estimated 5,000 children are currently involved in prostitution, pornography and sex-tourism in Mexico.

These are just some of the facts I obtained from the V-Day website. V-Day is a global movement to help stop violence against women and girls. Many college campuses are involved in the program and raise awareness about it during the month of February. I am so excited to be involved with this year's V-Day committee. This year we are putting on a documentary to raise awareness about this issue, a women's self-defense class, man day where we will ask the men on campus to pledge to never hit a woman, as well as other events. It is interesting to reflect on my self from last year when I attended one of the events with a friend of mine. I had never heard of this movement before then nor of the event the committee was putting on, The Vagina Monologues. I admit I was quite shocked at the name and slightly uncomfortable attending the event. I saved the program for a little while because I had enjoyed it but eventually threw it away for fear of keeping something with that title on it. This year I am so glad we are using out of the box methods to get people's attention and give us all a reality check because this is happening around the world and in the United States right now. It is happening in our own towns, in our own backyards and it needs to be stopped. So check out the V-Day website, get informed, learn how to get involved, and learn about a new passion of mine!

A Trip Down Memory Lane

Every year, it never fails, after Thanksgiving and when December is just around the corner my mom gets excited for Christmas time. She absolutely loves Christmas music and it plays practically 24/7 in our house throughout the entire month of December. Kathy G, Kenny G, and other artists singing the classics like "Silver Bells"and "I'll Be Home for Christmas" can be heard anywhere in the house or by my mom singing along with the CD as she loads the dishwasher or does whatever else. I think I love the idea of the holiday season. I actually love the holidays: lots of good food, getting together with family that busy schedules don't always allow for much time to see, catching up with each other and just spending quality time together are things I love about celebrating holidays. I love that several generations come together under one house to celebrate traditions that have and are being passed down and I love the idea that hopefully later on in my life at some point I'll be the middle generation like my parents are now, going over to my parents house with my kids and seeing my brother and sister with their children, helping prepare the meal. And also the idea that hopefully one day I'll be the oldest generation with all of my children coming to my house as I watch my grandchildren enjoy these values. I love the idea of the holidays allowing everyone to experience happiness and enjoy with their families, and the idea that this is outwardly expressed as their everyday attitudes are lightened. I'm not quite sure how much of the ideas of happiness and joy are actually true but I love the idea of them. And so today, although November has just peeked around the corner, I decided to indulge myself in nostalgia, look forward to the holidays, and find rest in listening to Kenny G Holiday on my Pandora while studying for my biology test tomorrow. Maybe the two don't really go hand in hand but, hey, if it makes studying biology more enjoyable, I'm all for it!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Just a Coincidence?

Tonight at FCA, the president announced working plans for a mission trip over Spring Break.

To Atlanta.

To work with an organization that helps girls involved in sex trafficking.

I don't know if this is purely coincidence or completely from the Lord, but I sure as heck am gonna start praying about this mission trip!!!
Def so stoked.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Listen to Kari Jobe = new fave

So, I recently discovered a singer named Kari Jobe. You've probably known about her for years, I'm pretty out of the loop as far as Christian singers go which is why I am just now discovering her. But she has such a beautiful voice and I just love the songs that she sings!

Get a playlist! Standalone player Get Ringtones

Rejoicing in Baby Steps!

Yay! I am so excited! A little bit of background info if you didn't already know: this summer God really burdened my heart for one of my coworkers from Zaxby's. At the end of the summer she commented she would like to keep in touch. So, I was truly thankful that God burdened my heart for this girl, I prayed earnestly for her, I desired so much for her to know the love of the Lord, a love unlike nothing she had ever experienced before and will never experience unless it's from Him. However, because I was so burdened for her, I thought about her a lot, talked with her a lot, prayed for her a lot, i.e. she quickly became an idol in my life, it was definitely affecting my relationship with the Lord. This was really hard to hear from a friend this summer, but as much as it was hard to hear I am so thankful for her hard questions this summer and truly valuing my relationship with God above anything else! So because she had quickly become an idol, I really had to lead out in the relationship for both of our sakes, for me so I might not make an idol of her, and her so she might not seek the love she desires from Christ in me. However, it got to the point where I felt like she was never being intentional with me. It was very one sided: if I texted her, she would text me; she would not text me if I did not text her. I didn't want our relationship to feel dominated by me, to feel controlled by me. I needed to have some sort of control but I wanted her to feel the freedom to be intentional with casual things so that she would also feel the freedom in more personal and intimate things. So on Sept. 6 I prayed wondering if God still wanted to use me in her life, which was so hard to think about! We were not talking as regularly, I was not at the beach anymore living life on life with her, so what did this mean? I prayed God would provide opportunities to talk with her after fallen through opportunities, I prayed that these would be initiated by her. So a month went by after this prayer, not talking to her at all, I had decided and was starting to be content with the idea that God was no longer going to use me with her, I had planted the seeds and it was someone else's call to sow them, water them, fertilize them. UNTIL last week she texts me and apologizes for not responding to my attempts to talk with her, I text her back and never hear from her. Well, I guess she's still out of the picture. UNTIL this week I am at home on fall break and she texts me randomly, we talked that night and then the next night a little bit when she texted me again. So, I am rejoicing in baby steps! Because this were totally conversations, initiated by her, from the Lord, opportunities to talk to her! Ideally I would like to reach the point where she initiates phone dates, a more personal and intimate way of communicating that I def feel like would be beneficial for our relationship and it would be an opportunity to talk about more serious things, but I am rejoicing in baby steps and trusting in the Lord's timing for a phone date!! Praise Him!

Monday, October 11, 2010


Some one else is getting the word out, and I mean really out. Today I was watching the Dr. Phil show and I was relieved and excited to see that the feature was about online predators. This first story is about a woman who was lured into prostitution via ads on Craigslist. It is encouraging to see that these talk shows can be used to educate viewers about the injustices happening around us while we live in ignorance of it.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Is There Such A Thing As Dreaming Too Big?

So, one thing that I love, love, love, love, love to do is watch crime shows. You name it I probably watch it. One of my favorites though is definitely Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. This show mainly focuses on cases involving minors and/or adults involved in sex crimes, i.e. rape, sexual abuse, etc. The kids featured in the stories come from different backgrounds, not necessarily predominately lower class or whatever the case may be. 
I also love kids. I love to babysit, play with kids, and I volunteer with the Good News Club at the local elementary school, an after school program that teaches kids about the Good News of Jesus Christ. So recently I've been thinking about long term plans, I'm a planner and always have been. My major in school is Early Childhood Education, and while I think that it would be such a joy to teach kids, I've also thought about doing something more. How cool would it be to open a home for kids in an underprivileged area? Some of the stories on these crime shows show kids in foster care who have such a terrible time. I thought it would be so cool, such a privilege and such a joy to run an orphanage where kids could have a loving home for possibly the first time in their lives. I know that an orphanage is only a temporary home but for some kids it could be the first, and hopefully not the last, home that really shows them the love of Christ. Then the other day I watched an episode of Criminal Minds where the team profiles and tracks down a couple running a child prostitution ring. What a terrible thing! It astounds me sometimes what this world is that we live in. The terrible things going on that I live oblivious to! Then I thought, maybe these shows are giving me an unrealistic view of what society really is, maybe this really isn't a huge problem. Until I found this CNN video reporting on child trafficking in Atlanta. Atlanta! That's only like 2 hours away from here! I know people from Atlanta! To think that this sort of thing is going on right in our backyards and we know nothing of it nor do we feel like we can do anything about it! So what if I opened a home in an underprivileged area high in crime, trafficking, and runaways. A home for kids in foster care or runaways, kids wanting out of exploitation and prostitution. This thought excites me but it also scares me half to death! I don't want to fear for my life simply walking out of my front door. I don't want to be scared to go to the grocery store. This situation is not really the best for raising a family. Do I want my children exposed to such violence at an early age? Do I want to live there at the home? I cannot possibly focus and invest in the children of the home as well as my own children. But could I bear to do this for just a short while and then give it all up? Could this home for kids even be possible? How would I get the word out to kids on the street that they have a safe place to go to? I guess, just like with everything else, I'll just have to learn to trust in what God's plan is for my life. Trust that whether it involves a home for kids or not, it will be the best for me and that he will provide in whatever situation he puts me in.

For more information on human and child trafficking visit these websites:

In 2006, the mayor of Atlanta launched the Dear John program in an effort to combat this terrible injustice.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

"O Spirit Come Make Me Humble"

"We bow our hearts,
We bend our knees
O Spirit come make us humble
We turn our eyes
From evil things
Oh Lord we cast down our idols

So give us clean hands
and give us pure hearts
Let us not lift our souls to another
Oh give us clean hands
Give us pure hearts
Let us not lift our souls to another

Oh God let this be
A generation that seeks
Seeks your face, Oh God of Jacob
Oh God let us be,
A generation that seeks
Seeks your face, Oh God of Jacob"

My God,
I confess my sins to you. God I am ashamed that I often worship idols. I worship my school work, I worship facebook and the internet, I worship friends, I worship self glorification, I worship sleep, God I worship so many other things and fail to worship you so many times. God such a huge part of me desperately seeks to cast down my idols. God I desire to worship you and only you. But another huge part of me is scared to know what that might mean for relationships that I worship. I am so scared of what you might call me to do God, unwilling to rid my life of certain things even though it means knowing more of You. God I confess that I do not count everything as a loss for the sake of knowing You. Oh God, let me be a child of You, one who seeks your face. Give me a pure heart, God I desire a pure heart that seeks, loves, worships, bows down, and exalts You and only You, for You are a holy, wonderful, mighty, powerful, just, loving, faithful, God who deserves my praise. God You have provided the privilege of knowing You and so many times I do not revere our relationship, I do not see it for what it is. God I am so thankful that You have challenged me with this. I am so thankful that You have challenged me to examine my life and see where I deny You. God You have made me humble tonight and I pray that You would continue to humble me. Lord, I pray that you would bring me to my knees in worship and reverence of You, recognizing how sinful I am and how unfathomably big your grace is. God I pray that you would bring me to my knees crying "Woe is me." 

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Dear Fall Break,

These past two weeks of class have been so crazy! I have had so much work do it has been really overwhelming at times. I've barely seen my roommate, spent most nights with James H. Thomason library and I am in need of a break! Last week I had a midterm on thursday, a religion test on friday, a history test on friday, and a short essay due on friday. Unfortunately, it's not quite over yet either. I've still got a paper due on Monday and another midterm on Monday. In all this craziness, I've barely spent time with the Lord which scares me a little because that means I've been relying on myself and not leaning on Him. No wonder I'm so exhausted! I've also been battling some sort of cold thing for the past two weeks along with all of this school work! And I'm still not quite over this cold, of course I'm pretty sure it helps to remember to take your medicine but hopefully I'll be completely over it in time for fall break this weekend! And another good thing is that after tomorrow, it should be smooth sailing until fall break, although my biology professor still has not decided when he wants us to have our test. I'm looking forward to going home, spending time with my family, resting and spending time in the word.
Speaking of my time in the word. Usually my ministry decides on a book that everyone can study together and puts out a schedule. In the past I have decided to do this and it was worked out so well for me! This semester we are making some changes in the ministry and they haven't done that. This is challenging for me because I always feel I can't do my own thing. It is harder for me to get up in the morning to study the word if I do not have something set to study. And I am realizing that I think I learn much more when I am consecutively studying a book. I don't always choose to study that book or even the word every day but most days I do. Some days I can just read the book like a story or really study the verse. So, I'm realizing I need to pray about and think about a particular book to study this semester. I'm hoping for something that's really going to challenge me to examine my relationship with the Lord and the way I live my life. I know there must be some areas of my life where I falter in living souled out for Him, but what are those areas? I'm definitely in need of some rest and prayer!
 So Fall Break, can you please come sooner?

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Breaking News!

Justin Bieber will be appearing on tonights season premiere of CSI, and rumor has it his character will be appearing on several episodes this season!
Breaking News Installment Number 2: Justin Bieber will be performing live, in concert at the Bi-Lo Center in Greenville, SC on Dec. 16th!!!!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Crunch Time Part 2 (Sort Of)

So bloggers, if you have been faithfully following and reading my blog, you might remember a little self help post back at Easter time. A little how-to, if you will, about tips to making that 2.5 page paper hit the 3 page mark your professor wants. Don't remember? Never read it? Well then, refer to my first 10 tips here, then see a couple of new tips I have discovered just recently!

  1. Remember the old trick of increasing your period sizes? Well, in addition to this, increase the size of your commas and other punctuation marks. You may not think changing the size of your commas from 12 to 14 will help much but trust me, the little things add up!
  2. Increase your character spacing just slightly. Format, Paragraph, Character Spacing tab. Again, please go with the idea that less is more. If you change it drastically your professor will obviously notice. But if you change it slightly, it looks off somehow but you just cannot figure out why!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

As I Procrastinate

It is now 2:20 pm on Saturday and I have been procrastinating on finishing a history paper for, oohhh about a whole day. I find myself a champion at reasoning myself out of things. Yesterday I told myself, "You have all day tomorrow to work on your paper" which is, in fact true. I thought it a perfect solution. I felt like doing nothing after a whole week of school work, my roommate is leaving today to go home so I'll have the room to myself, a perfect time to work on my paper, no distractions. No distractions? Little did I know there would be a great movie marathon on ABC family. Sixteen Candles, (although I don't know of too many I like 80s movies and Molly Ringwald is just too presh! I have a Breakfast Club poster up in my room!) Blue Crush (I actually do not know of this movie but it looks interesting. as far as i can tell it's about a group of girls and guys that like to surf), The Wedding Date, and the temptation of the two movies my roommates and I Redboxed last night, Letters to Juliet and Sunday School Musical. Oh yes, Sunday School Musical. We rented Letters to Juliet and then discovered we received a credit for another free movie rental! As we searched through the listings we found it, and it just sounded so funny we had to rent it. I must say the movie was cute. Not the best made, not the best acting, not the best singing either, but it was great entertainment especially for free! We also had fun reading old copes of Seventeen Magazine, the drama, the beauty tips, the boy advice, and the embarrassing stories, we are just suckers for it all!
On the ministry side of things, God has shown me that although I have been here for a month or so my heart really has not been here with the girls I am sharing with. Not that I haven't wanted to share with them or enjoyed sharing with them, but where my heart has really felt burdened is still with my coworkers from this summer. It is hard for me not to still feel burdened for them as I spent so much time with them and all of them do not know the Lord. But my heart needs to be here at PC, where God has me now, where I am spending my time, where I am laboring. How can I truly be fully laboring and feeling burdened for my friends here if my heart is still at the beach? The hard thing for me is thinking that this does not mean that I should completely forget about my coworkers. That is not it at all. It's ok to still have a burden for them, to still pray for them, to still talk with them when I get the chance, but my focus, my attention, and my heart needs to be where God has me right now, where He is going to use me right now, and that's here at PC.

Friday, September 17, 2010

It Starts With Him

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

"Although I am the least of all God's people, this grace was given to me that I might preach among the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to make all see what is the fellowship of the mystery which from the beginning of the ages has been hidden in God who created all things through Christ Jesus." Ephesians 3:8-9
"But the wisdom that comes from above is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere."     James 3:13-18 
"Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord...But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him." Jeremiah 17:5-7
"Trust in Him at all times, you people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us." Psalm 62:8
"My soul finds rest in God alone;  my salvation comes from Him." Psalm 62:1 
So bloggers, once again I realize how far I fall from glory. So my ministry thus far has been unexplainable. I never realized that it would actually be challenging, why I thought it would be a piece of cake I'll never know. At times I want to pull my hair out, scream, yell, it becomes so very frustrating, but then there are the times when I see that God is doing WORK in these girls and it brings me sooo much joy! To see these girls realizing that they are not finding satisfaction in the temporal things of this world, the things they thought were bringing them happiness and satisfaction is totally from the Lord and the joy it brings me to see God revealing this to them brings me and unexplainable joy, it is so incomparable to anything else! It makes me seriously consider a ministry path after college. But one things I wasn't seeing was my own sin in the situation, which I never even thought about. I struggle so much with pride that I tried to focus on not letting this ministry feed my pride but recognizing that whatever happens is totally from the Lord, I am simply a tool used by Him and HE is the one who is completely sovereign. So I failed to realize that while trying not to let my ministry on my part be all about me, that I didn't know it could be all about them. Yeah, all about them. But wait, isn't that what it is supposed to be about, about them coming to know the Lord and his love, grace, mercy, sovereignty, how He is the only one that can satisfy them and give them hope? That's the thing, it's about them coming to know the LORD, therefore, it's about the LORD. not me. not them. HIM. seems so simple yet so hard to grasp and implement at the same time. just another reason why I need His grace every day, showing me that salvation is a lifetime process not a one time thing.

God revealed this to me the other night during FCA, which may I pause to say is gonna be tot legit this year. I just know God is already doing BIG things through FCA this year, which is so great because sometimes we get comfortable in our committed ministry thinking that it is the only one or the best one on campus. Not true. God can do GREAT and BIG things through BOTH co and fca. This girl talked about God's love basically. One thing she talked about was that the bible says that God is jealous for us (Ezk 34:14, Dt 4:24, Js 24:19). Now my concept of jealousy is anger driven by a coveting for something we do not have i.e. sin. Now God's jealous is an angry jealousy, God is wrathful, He can be angry, He does get angry. But what was this anger driven by? I think it's driven by a deep hurt, like a pain because He created us and He knows what we need and He knows that He is the only one who can give us what we seek in other things! He has a desperate desire to be the one who is comforting us, who is satisfying us, who is loving us, who is giving us hope. He is pained that we are running to other things to try and find it rather than running to Him! Think of how deeply God must love us to be deeply pained by the fact that we are running to other things and not to Him!

So that was a pro to the talk. I heard another friend of mine talking about it and I asked him what he thought. He saw the con in the talk. Now something I tend to forget is that we are all human, just because this person is speaking about the gospel and seeking the Lord does not mean that they are completely right about everything. She talked to the whole group as if we were all believers, i.e. calling us all children of God and really loving us. Now granted God desires a relationship with all that He created, those that follow Him he calls his children, those that reject Him are subject to his judgement and His wrath. My friend feared that there were unbelievers there leaving thinking that they were children of God when in fact if they do not accept Him they will one day be subject to His wrath. This just reminded me of another reason for community, because we all perceive things differently and he saw something I didn't and vice versa. So cool!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

"...Give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name."

"Teach me your way, O Lord,
and I will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart,
that I may fear your name.

I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart;
I will glorify your name forever.

For great is your love towards me;
you have delivered me from the depths of the grave."

Psalm 86:11-13 (NIV)

Many times today I heard the phrase "follow your heart". Although none of these times was it directed towards me or even indirectly towards me, I thought about that common phrase. Today in Sunday School God revealed so much more to me about a huge idol in my life, one that I had not been taking seriously at all before until today when I realized that it was much bigger than I thought; and that I had somewhere in the back of my mind thought I had it under control. Yeah right, I have fooled myself again. As a pursuer of the Lord, I know that at my deepest core I am sinful. My heart's deepest desires are sinful. Jeremiah 17:9 says, 'The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it?" Although this idol was revealed to me back on project, I did not want to consider the seriousness of this idol. I simply tried to fight it with a half-hearted attempt, not really desiring to fight it with my whole heart, and not realizing how much of God's grace I could see on the other side knowing that my battle has already been won. And so of course, today God really revealed to me how serious this is, that putting someone above my Lord is not ok. God is jealous for me, and it is astounding to me that after all He has done for me and in me, I continue to sin against Him. So obviously, I am so much more spiritual now and my heart desires only the Lord a.k.a. I am the perfect Christian. Such lies. I hope you could note the sarcasm in that statement. I desire so much to worship my Lord with an undivided heart but at the same time I am so terribly scared to pray for that out of fear of what that might mean. I do NOT want to completely give up my idol and I am so afraid of God calling me to do exactly that.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Another Year Older...

Ah yes. The big 2-0. no longer a teenager so it seems! Where does the time go? Sometimes I feel like I just started kindergarten yesterday and already I'm in college! But nonetheless, I am enjoying it so much. This weekend was a great birthday! My brother was visiting from New York City, and it was so great to see him for the first time since last Christmas and the last time probably until next Christmas. So, I spent the weekend with my whole family, and shared it of course with my twin sister, Katherine. I got back to PC this afternoon and had a day full of lovely surprises. My roommates got me a great present with lots of goodies I wanted and nothing I was expecting! Other friends made me lovely signs and posted them on my door to surprise me, and I got to see several friends from this summer that were visiting this weekend including one my roommates, Katlyn! I couldn't have asked for a better birthday weekend, God has blessed me so much! Here are few pictures from my fun filled weekend.

my roomies got be Breakfast at Tiffany's, which most of us had never seen, a cute new picture frame and adorable stationary since I love to write all of my loves love notes! :)

A candle and candle warmer! Open flames aren't allowed in the dorm and this candle warmer is much safer. It warms the candle from the bottom still leaving the room smelling deliciously like Hazelnut Cream! This present is good for both me and my roommate!

my new friend molly made me this!

Love, only the best RA ever and a good friend, Amanda!

and of course, blowing out the candles for the 20th time with my twin!

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Westminster and Election vs. Free Will

Alrighty readers. So in the lovely city of Clinton, SC most of us involved in Campus Outreach, the on campus ministry I'm involved in, attend a local Presbyterian church called Westminster. At the beginning of last school year, as a freshman, I church hopped a little to try and find a new "church home." I attended Westminster all of last year for the sole purpose because all of my friends attended that church, not really sure if I liked the pastor or even how I felt about some of the denominational beliefs such as election vs. what my baptist church at home believes, free will. If you are not familiar with these terms, the most common belief of baptists is that a person decides of their own accord to accept Christ into their heart as their Lord and Savior, sounds logical right? The most common belief of Presbyterians is election, or that God elects those who come into His kingdom. The controversy of this is the thought that God would "choose" some over others to call Him Lord. In Sunday School today we talked about this. The Sunday School lesson simply laid out why Presbyterians believe this, and although we talked about it in a lesson last school year today it finally clicked! The lesson was based on a passage in Ephesians that begins with the author stating that we were "dead in our trespasses". The Word tells us that God is completely sovereign over everything, a friend last year once told me that her freshman year she explored this topic and now states the question 'If God is completely sovereign over EVERYTHING, why wouldn't He be sovereign over salvation?' I guess another way to pose that is 'why WOULDN'T He be sovereign over salvation?' And, the passage in Ephesians states that without Christ we are "dead in our trespasses". Now the word 'dead' is there for a reason, the author didn't just throw it in there to see how he liked the sound of it. He really means that we were so consumed with our sin that it's like being physically dead. I thought to myself the characteristics of being dead, go with me here. Think about it, a dead person cannot do ANYTHING. They're dead. And when you're dead, you can't make yourself alive. When you're dead in your trespasses, you can't make yourself alive in Christ. If you're dead, how can you call out to God and accept Him as a decision of your own free will? It has to be Christ that calls you to Him, that frees you from sin, gives you life in Him.
Today I realized that the pastor at this church, fondly referred to as PJ by PC students, is very knowledgeable and I liked what he preaches about and the way that he develops his topics. One of those situations where you don't realize how much you're learning until a situation poses itself and you actually use it.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

A PC Fave: The Gallon Challenge

So blogfans, last night I participated in the annual Gallon Challenge. Although this is a fave event for us, there are many other college students who love a good Gallon Challenge. The goal in the Gallon Challenge is to drink an entire gallon of milk within one hour AND keep it down! This feat is much harder than I imagined. Although I did not throw up, I also did not get down the whole gallon within the hour! But, here are some highlights from the contest:

Liz looks excited!

Edith looks a little scared!

still drinking!

zaxbys cup! represent!

I'm a little nervous but ready to go!

For highlights of last year's gallon challenge check out Ashton's experience at Life in the Smyth Lane 'Gallon Challenge'!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Just Beginning Sophomore Year!

Sophomore year has already gotten off to a great start! I am so excited about this year. I really feel like here, in college, I am beginning to make great friends that I will have for the rest of my life and I love that feeling!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010


So, a funny little story about this summer: Upon our last couple of days in myrtle beach and at Zaxby's, my roommates and I were thinking back to when we first started applying for jobs. None of us had prayed about it, and we all had hoped to get a cushy job at Ocean Creek, a hotel and resort, or at Wal-Mart. Sure they had busy days but they also had days where they did absolutley nothing. We threw in a fast food restaurant for the heck of it because we had to choose 3 places. We applied to Zaxby's, Wendy's and Wal-Mart. Little did all of us know we would be getting a not so cushy job at Zaxby's.
When we went for our interviews we were asked our preference in where we would like to work. Me, Katlyn and Chelsea all requested to work up front while Mary and Lindsay requested to work in the kitchen. We arrive for our first day of work and discover that this was not the case anymore. The manager had decided that Chelsea, Lindsay and Mary would be working up front and Katlyn and I would be working in the kitchen. Boy was I shocked/terrified/worried and so many other things. I just knew this was not going to be good. And I still felt that way after the first day: Memorial Day, which meant we were super busy and there was a million people working and I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing or how to do what I was supposed to be doing. After a couple of days and finally some training, I began to feel slightly more comfortable in my job but there was a new problem: our coworker. We all were sure she hated us. Whenever we asked her a question she would give us looks that made us feel dumb, she never wanted to talk to us, she intimidated us more than I knew someone could intimidate me! But, little did I know that God is faithful and his plans are perfect. By the end of the summer I loved working in the kitchen, I had a hard job but I loved it. And our intimidating coworker grew to like us! I even got to share with her our last few days. Now I am just trying to trust that God is still faithful and his plans are still perfect since we had to leave so soon after getting to share with her and building our relationship. I have seen God begin a good work in her and I am praying that he will finish it. My prayer is to trust that maybe we were only meant to plant the seed and not to water it, but whatever the case may be I pray that God puts other laborers for Him in her path, that I can continue this relationship with her, and that one day I will see that she calls Him Lord.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

His Mercies Are New Every Morning

A phrase my friends have used a lot this summer is the more we see of our own sin, the more we see God's grace. I think God may be slowly revealing to me what that really means. I think it means that the more our sin is revealed to us, the more we realize just how sinful and deceitful our hearts are and therefore how big God's grace is to be sufficient for us. But at the same time I also feel that I will never truly be able to claim complete comprehension of God's grace.

This past week was really good and really hard. It was really good because I asked a girl at work who has really intimidated me and all of my roommates the whole summer to hang out with us that night. We have been able to hang out with her a little bit, chat with her more through texts and learn a little bit more about who she is. It was cool to see that the next day at work, after chatting with her on Tuesday, that she was a lot more comfortable around me. One question she asked us was how we could like her and still want a relationship with her even though she does things we don't necessarily agree with. It was awesome to see that even though she didn't know it, she saw Christ in us! I looked back in my prayer journal I have been keeping and saw that the last week of June I had prayed that whole week to share something I had learned with my coworker by the end of the week. Well the end of the week came with no opportunities to share. So although that was sort of frustrating, I realized that God's plans are perfect and his timing is perfect because this past week I felt more secure about sharing with her, more confident about asking her bold questions, I think she was more confident in asking us questions and I truly believe she was more ready to hear the gospel this past week than a month ago. But of course the next day I became frustrated at the fact that we have to leave so soon after sharing with her and I didn't have more time to spend with her and talk with her. I went from trusting in the Lord's plans to doubting and not trusting his plans in just one day! But my room leader encouraged me to see God's grace after recognizing my doubt. And so I wrote down verses about grace and fighting sin to claim:

"But we all with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror of the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord." 2 Cor 3:18

"Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart." 2 Timothy 2:22

"Therefore, we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed for his compassions never fail. They are new ever morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, most gladly will I boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Cor 12:9