Saturday, June 22, 2013

10,000 Reasons?

Preparing to lead my small group at church tomorrow night I again become confronted with my doubt in the Lord, his power and in his sovereignty. Tomorrow night I am using one of Jesus' healing miracles to teach that Jesus has compassion over us, that He has power over all and that He is the true Messiah. As I have been preparing tonight, I am confronted that these are just a few of the many reasons that we have to celebrate and worship Jesus.

In the end, I plan to present the truth that the mission of Jesus' miracles was to demonstrate his power and his identity so that the people would believe in Him, trust Him as the Messiah and tell others about Him. Jesus tells us that our response to grace is to serve Him and worship Him. It is as simple as that. And yet over and over again I fail at these miserably. And I doubt Him and I harden my heart towards Him, instead looking inwards in the face of a storm and wondering why life isn't just peachy. I daydream about a life that is free from struggles and strife; a world where I picture myself freely and wholeheartedly worshiping the Lord. 

The problem with this picture is that my worship, my service, my love is circumstantial. Often, I find myself believing the lie that I can achieve this dream, that the more that I grow to be like Christ, the more perfect my life will be. And then I get slapped in the face with a wake up call. "Hello Kathleen! Anybody home? Did you read the part where Jesus was tortured and crucified on the cross or did you just skip that part?" Jesus, my savior, my redeemer, lover of my soul; he was perfect and yet he suffered the most because he desired to know me. How can I even begin to think that I deserve to even remotely consider a life without pain, sorrow, and suffering when each day I sin against Him. I am not worthy and yet so many times I fail to remember this. 

Yet because of Jesus, I live another day today to remember how unworthy I am in the midst of worshipping Jesus who is worthy and yet still suffered so much. My suffering can never compare to what He endured so that I might have grace. I am reminded of Matt Redman's "10,000 Reasons" and worship the Lord knowing that there are more than 10,000 reasons to do so and pray that whatever may pass and whatever lies before me, let me be singing when the evening comes.