Friday, September 17, 2010

It Starts With Him

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

"Although I am the least of all God's people, this grace was given to me that I might preach among the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to make all see what is the fellowship of the mystery which from the beginning of the ages has been hidden in God who created all things through Christ Jesus." Ephesians 3:8-9
"But the wisdom that comes from above is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere."     James 3:13-18 
"Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord...But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him." Jeremiah 17:5-7
"Trust in Him at all times, you people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us." Psalm 62:8
"My soul finds rest in God alone;  my salvation comes from Him." Psalm 62:1 
So bloggers, once again I realize how far I fall from glory. So my ministry thus far has been unexplainable. I never realized that it would actually be challenging, why I thought it would be a piece of cake I'll never know. At times I want to pull my hair out, scream, yell, it becomes so very frustrating, but then there are the times when I see that God is doing WORK in these girls and it brings me sooo much joy! To see these girls realizing that they are not finding satisfaction in the temporal things of this world, the things they thought were bringing them happiness and satisfaction is totally from the Lord and the joy it brings me to see God revealing this to them brings me and unexplainable joy, it is so incomparable to anything else! It makes me seriously consider a ministry path after college. But one things I wasn't seeing was my own sin in the situation, which I never even thought about. I struggle so much with pride that I tried to focus on not letting this ministry feed my pride but recognizing that whatever happens is totally from the Lord, I am simply a tool used by Him and HE is the one who is completely sovereign. So I failed to realize that while trying not to let my ministry on my part be all about me, that I didn't know it could be all about them. Yeah, all about them. But wait, isn't that what it is supposed to be about, about them coming to know the Lord and his love, grace, mercy, sovereignty, how He is the only one that can satisfy them and give them hope? That's the thing, it's about them coming to know the LORD, therefore, it's about the LORD. not me. not them. HIM. seems so simple yet so hard to grasp and implement at the same time. just another reason why I need His grace every day, showing me that salvation is a lifetime process not a one time thing.

God revealed this to me the other night during FCA, which may I pause to say is gonna be tot legit this year. I just know God is already doing BIG things through FCA this year, which is so great because sometimes we get comfortable in our committed ministry thinking that it is the only one or the best one on campus. Not true. God can do GREAT and BIG things through BOTH co and fca. This girl talked about God's love basically. One thing she talked about was that the bible says that God is jealous for us (Ezk 34:14, Dt 4:24, Js 24:19). Now my concept of jealousy is anger driven by a coveting for something we do not have i.e. sin. Now God's jealous is an angry jealousy, God is wrathful, He can be angry, He does get angry. But what was this anger driven by? I think it's driven by a deep hurt, like a pain because He created us and He knows what we need and He knows that He is the only one who can give us what we seek in other things! He has a desperate desire to be the one who is comforting us, who is satisfying us, who is loving us, who is giving us hope. He is pained that we are running to other things to try and find it rather than running to Him! Think of how deeply God must love us to be deeply pained by the fact that we are running to other things and not to Him!

So that was a pro to the talk. I heard another friend of mine talking about it and I asked him what he thought. He saw the con in the talk. Now something I tend to forget is that we are all human, just because this person is speaking about the gospel and seeking the Lord does not mean that they are completely right about everything. She talked to the whole group as if we were all believers, i.e. calling us all children of God and really loving us. Now granted God desires a relationship with all that He created, those that follow Him he calls his children, those that reject Him are subject to his judgement and His wrath. My friend feared that there were unbelievers there leaving thinking that they were children of God when in fact if they do not accept Him they will one day be subject to His wrath. This just reminded me of another reason for community, because we all perceive things differently and he saw something I didn't and vice versa. So cool!