Sunday, February 6, 2011

Update?

Not sure about a title for this one, I just feel like it's been a while since my last blog post. So, a couple of things I've learned lately, or rather the other day. This semester I've begun to experience some hard things in my life and pretty much the first time I've really had suffering in my life since I became a Christian. They always say that whatever you run to in times of trouble, that is what you worship. When I have strife, I retreat; I run to myself, I don't spend time with God, and I tell my friends sometimes out of need but other times out of a feeling of obligation. I claim that I cannot get through my time of trouble without God but then I retreat from Him. I think I just haven't been sure as to how to handle this. It's easy for me to continue on in life as if nothing is the matter, but at the same time I know I cannot let this consume me. So, the other day I knew and felt like I really needed to spend time with God. I know I cannot handle this on my own and I just needed to run to Him. So my time with Him was just listening to praise music on Pandora and writing in my prayer journal. The Lord truly reveals a lot to me through writing in my prayer journal; He reveals sin in my life, He reveals struggles, He reveals lies, He tells me truth. And I learned that I never truly believed God could comfort me because He is not, in a sense, tangible. I believed I could find comfort from myself or from my friends, but of course they could not give me the comfort I truly needed. I had been looking at my situation as hopeless, I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I just haven't been able to see how God could glorify Himself in a situation that His word speaks against. Until God reminded me of Romans 8:28, where He tells me that He works all things for the good of those who He has called upon. God uses our sin for His glory and allows us to know more of Him through our sin sometimes. OF COURSE He could use this for His glory and He will because He is sovereign and completely in control of the situation, and although it is sinful He WILL use it for His glory. He revealed to me that this is my hope. I'm not always going to see the kind of light at the end of the tunnel I want, it is not my place or role to know the ending of some situations and this is just one of those times. He revealed to me that although I do not know what the outcome is, my hope is not in the outcome but in Him! So comforting!