So bloggers, a review of Christmas break:
Long breaks at home are enjoyed; I enjoy seeing my family and spending time with them however it also tends to be hard at times. My community at PC is so great, I am constantly surrounded by believers who love me, encourage me, keep me accountable, pray for me, fight with me, rejoice with me, and constantly show me why the Lord calls us to live in community, reassuring that His plans are so much greater than mine and coming to PC was such a huge blessing. But at home I really don't have any solid believers to provide any sense of community which makes it a hard environment to be in.
While cleaning up my room over break I stumbled across a postcard I had written to myself from last year's New Years Conference with Campus Outreach with a few things I had learned written on it. Our Campus Director has us write ourselves postcards and then places them in our mailbox at a later time during the semester. On my postcard, one thing I had written was "Christian contentment comes from Christ, not from circumstances." At home, I was wallowing in the fact that it is hard for me to be there and not continually fueling myself with Christ. I was discontent in my circumstances versus seeking contentment in Christ. Talk about convicting. But then on the bus ride home from this year's New Years Conference, I was talking with my friend Mel and another thought occurred to me. It was easy for me to see that at home I sought contentment in my circumstances instead of Christ, but what about at school? The Lord has been so good to bless me with such a wonderful community through Campus Outreach at PC but at school am I finding my contentment in my circumstances and the fact it is so easy to be at school? Or am I finding my contentment in Christ? Talk about convicting times two.
So after this years AL!VE conference, I thought about all the talks I heard. This year's conference was mission focused for me. In everything I really saw that the Lord was putting it on my heart to share the gospel. This summer it was easier for me to share, I had no fear about striking up a spiritual conversation with my coworkers. There was some sense of nervousness each time but I found so much joy in sharing what I was learning, sharing the gospel, and feeling burdened for my coworkers. Last semester I was so confused as to what my target was, I was hardly fueling myself with spending time with the Lord. I was like a little child who loves to get presents from their parents but are bored with just sitting on their lap and talking to them. They want to go play with their new toy, the object of their fascination and satisfaction for a short period of time until they need a new toy. My relationship with the Lord was like that of a small child with their parents. I wanted things from Him, prayers answered. That's what I wanted, not time with Him, not to enjoy Him for who He is.
So, I enter the new semester remembering the advice of a friend who graduated last year: Duty, Desire, Delight. Spending time with the Lord may feel like a duty at first but it is a duty we are called to take part in. But the more we obey our duty, the more we will desire to spend time with the Lord. And the more we desire to spend time with the Lord, the more we will delight in Him. And I also enter the new semester mission minded, with a desire to engage others in spiritual conversations, share with them through more than just this blog, remembering the joy I feel when I share with those I am burdened for about my personal relationship with the Lord and the love and joy they too could experience. I enter the new semester with a mission opportunity for Spring Break, and desiring to become a prayer warrior for a target ministry, for next year's target ministry, summer plans, and everything else on my long prayer list. My prayer journal needs a lot of love!
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