His Mercies Are New Every Morning

A phrase my friends have used a lot this summer is the more we see of our own sin, the more we see God's grace. I think God may be slowly revealing to me what that really means. I think it means that the more our sin is revealed to us, the more we realize just how sinful and deceitful our hearts are and therefore how big God's grace is to be sufficient for us. But at the same time I also feel that I will never truly be able to claim complete comprehension of God's grace.

This past week was really good and really hard. It was really good because I asked a girl at work who has really intimidated me and all of my roommates the whole summer to hang out with us that night. We have been able to hang out with her a little bit, chat with her more through texts and learn a little bit more about who she is. It was cool to see that the next day at work, after chatting with her on Tuesday, that she was a lot more comfortable around me. One question she asked us was how we could like her and still want a relationship with her even though she does things we don't necessarily agree with. It was awesome to see that even though she didn't know it, she saw Christ in us! I looked back in my prayer journal I have been keeping and saw that the last week of June I had prayed that whole week to share something I had learned with my coworker by the end of the week. Well the end of the week came with no opportunities to share. So although that was sort of frustrating, I realized that God's plans are perfect and his timing is perfect because this past week I felt more secure about sharing with her, more confident about asking her bold questions, I think she was more confident in asking us questions and I truly believe she was more ready to hear the gospel this past week than a month ago. But of course the next day I became frustrated at the fact that we have to leave so soon after sharing with her and I didn't have more time to spend with her and talk with her. I went from trusting in the Lord's plans to doubting and not trusting his plans in just one day! But my room leader encouraged me to see God's grace after recognizing my doubt. And so I wrote down verses about grace and fighting sin to claim:

"But we all with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror of the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord." 2 Cor 3:18

"Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart." 2 Timothy 2:22

"Therefore, we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed for his compassions never fail. They are new ever morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, most gladly will I boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Cor 12:9

A Little Bit of LP 2010

Crazy Love

⁴⁴"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.

Matthew 13:44

³Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, ⁴and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, ⁵who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. ⁶In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. ⁷These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. ⁸Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, ⁹for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

1 Peter 1:3-9

These verses are so amazing and if you really read them through slowly, you can really tell how the authors hold such a reverence and a joy in their love for Christ. It just exudes out from every word on the page. The fact that Peter describes our faith as something of much "greater worth than gold, which perishes". So often we hunger for the things valued by the world: being accepted, having a stable income, having nice things, just worldly pleasures that temporarily satisfy us and pleasures that will perish, that will not last. But we fail to see and seek after Christ's love which will fill us "with an inexpressible and glorious joy".

Here at project we have meetings every night and they train us in different things such as a method to studying our bible, the value of prayer, how to evangelize and share our faith. The other day the minister from the church I go to at school came and talked with us during our bible study training meeting and he really dug into 1 Peter 1:13-17 and it was just really cool to see how we really can get so much out of just a few verses and then to think of how much we can learn from a whole book! But at the same time it is so restful also to just read the text and see how the authors cherish so much what they are writing about or who they are writing to and encouraging!

^"9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. ¹⁰That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10

Summer Vaca and Confessions

So. After a grueling week of finals, I packed up my belongings and headed home. I still don't think it has hit me that my freshman year is over. This all so crazy. It is unreal to think that I have just 3 short years left at PC; which, one hand, feels like an eternity, and on the other, it feels like a mere second, a heartbeat, a blink of an eye. Soon I'll be out on my own, in the real world. This thought excites me but saddens me at the same time. I have so many things I want to do before I get there and I feel so confined with just 3 summers left to do them all. And yet I have a vision in my head of me, in the real world, working a dream job and loving every minute of it. However, reality checks in and I think, who knows if I will ever be able to accomplish or create some of the dreams I have? I may not be able to find a position working with kids, especially if the economy does not get any better. And I know I won't be loving every minute of my job because, like every job, there are ups and downs.
But for now I have just concentrated on laying on the couch, watching a lot of crime shows on the tv, and doing absolutely nothing. And when I say nothing, I do mean pretty much nothing. Sadly I have not had the motivation to do my devotion and as a result my time with God has been slim to none. I just cannot seem to persist, I find myself sometimes wondering if I spend time with God because I want to, or because it is what all of my friends do? I know that God has used them in so many ways to push me closer to him but many times I feel I cannot push myself closer to him. I seem to want to praise him when things are good, but yet fall from him when things are stressful or confusing.
So, I am hoping to work through this as well as my pride issues that have flaired up again this summer at the LP. I have so many expectations and yet I do not have any at all. So many people have told me how much they loved the LP when they went. And so many people have asked me if I am sooo excited. And I was excited when I applied, but somehow I have lost my excitement and I tell them yes just because it is what they want to hear. I am looking forward to this summer but I am checking myself in a way. This summer, I do not need to try and find satisfaction in my experience - in having fun and making new friends, but in growing closer to the Lord and dealing with my sin that keeps me from knowing Him.
I leave tomorrow for the whole summer so be praying for me and for the people of Myrtle Beach!